


Beautiful Girl

by Egypt18015



Category: Backstreet Boys, Original Fiction - Fandom
Genre: Drama, Obsession, Suspense, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:02:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24133291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Egypt18015/pseuds/Egypt18015
Summary: A short story about what happens when a fan steps over the line.Even though I’m using a Backstreet Boy as the object of affection, you could substitute anyone you’d like!
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	Beautiful Girl

Beautiful Girl  
  
  
  
Author's note: Hey guys, just wanted to say this is a story about a fan gone horribly wrong. I hope you like it, it's kind of dark.  
  
I stood in line for over two hours today just to get a glimpse of him. He is SO gorgeous with his crystal blue eyes and slightly crooked smile. I drove three hours to get there, taking off work to do so, but I had to. I couldn't resist the chance to see him, smell him, touch him.  
  
People at work think I'm nuts. "You're in love with a child" They would kid me. He isn't a child, he's soon to be a man I would gladly say, his huge face from Sixteen magazine looming in the background. "You're lucky that the boss is never down here to see that or for sure he would make you take that down" They would say as they passed me. They didn't understand, maybe they still don't.  
  
I don't care though, there are lot's of fans like me out there. Devoted, loving, caring fans who would do anything for their favorite star. Our favorite star. To me he's so much more though. To me...he is a God. I look at him with the utmost admiration, if there was a church devoted to him I would gladly sign up. Gladly.  
  
So, I head out to see him, making a three hour trek to an unknown place. I hardly ever leave my hometown, let alone my city, but for Nick Carter, I would do anything. So I pack my bag and make my way to see him, only stopping to go to the bathroom. There will be no eating for me on this trip because I would be too afraid that I just might puke on his shoes.  
  
Knowing that there was a possibility that I could breath in the same oxygen as him again...my heart flutters in my chest at just the mere thought. When I stop to go to the bathroom, I pick up the latest issue of teen People, I pretend I am picking it up for my daughter but the way I anxiously flip through the pages gives me away. There they are on pages 12-16. A super huge layout devoted to all of five of them, although I am only interested in one.  
  
I am ashamed to admit it, but I don't even really know anything about the others. It's always been Nick and his group. How I even came to know who he was is fate. That's what I always say.  
  
Fate.  
  
I was in a random crowd or so I thought, because I had nowhere else to be just then. My husband of ten years had just left me for his much younger secretary and all I wanted to do was stay away from my house. The place where he was packing up the rest of his things. So I ventured to the city for the day. What better place to be then New York City. There you can walk past a crowd of people knowing full well that maybe at least one of the people you encounter on the street was going through exactly what you were. I found that thought oddly calming so off I went to roam around and become just another face in the crowd.  
  
And there WAS a crowd, a huge crowd gathered in the middle of Times Square that day. A bunch of yelling screaming kids. I had to hold my ears as I continued to walk through the crowd. Police keeping them at bay. They were carrying signs and screaming while looking up at the sky. By instinct, I looked up too thinking maybe we were awaiting the apocalypse or something. That maybe the heavens were going to open up and swallow us whole. I had no idea that we were underneath a window of some MTV show. Nor did I care.  
  
I managed to walk towards a bunch of teenagers who were crying hysterically. I ran over to them hoping that maybe I would be able to help. Afraid that one of them was hurt and possibly dying, not realizing they were cries of joy and not pain. They informed me through hyperventilating sobs that the Backstreet Boys were up at TRL and would be down at any minute to wave and blow kisses.  
  
I had heard of them, knew their songs but not enough to sing more than a few words. My niece was in love with them. That much I knew, I thought it would be nice for me to say I was there among a crowd of people who loved them as much as she claimed to, so I stayed.  
  
Fate.  
  
That day my life was changed, as they walked right by the barricade were I was standing. I'm not sure why, but I extended my hand out hoping to touch one of them so I could go home and tell my niece how soft they were to the touch. I closed me eyes just for a second when I felt a hand in mine. Quickly I opened my eyes to find him staring at me and smiling. I blushed, he was clearly the most gorgeous thing I had ever seen. The others had walked ahead so I missed them.  
  
"Do you want me to sign something?" He asked me making me feel even more stupid, "No that's okay I just wanted to come out and see you. I have had a hard day"  
  
Why I felt the need to share that with him, to this day I will never know. He pouted at me, "Aw I'm sorry to hear that" He said. It appeared that the screaming girls around me were all jealous of all the attention he was showering me with as his security tried to push him along. "My husband left me" I yelled to him, he was still holding my hand.  
  
"Aww I'm sorry but you can do better you are a beautiful girl" and then he was gone.  
  
He called me a beautiful girl and everyone heard it. The shrieking crying fans around me all had different reactions. Some were nasty, some were happy for me telling me they were SO jealous and I was SO lucky. Others didn't even hear over their own labored cries.  
  
I walked away with my head held high and with new found hope. I was a beautiful girl, how do I know that? Because Nick Carter told me so.  
  
That's when I started to try to find out as much as I could about the man who called me beautiful...well technically he was still a boy. That much I had found out that very day. He was 19 years old. Just a kid. I was almost twenty years older then him. Is that wrong? At first I thought so. Embarrassed to even mention them in anyone's presence. I went home and found myself buying Backstreet Boys video tapes and reading Backstreet boys memoirs and magazines. Anything I could find. I was becoming obsessed. When I would watch a video, I fast forwarded through the others talking and focused only on him.  
  
I changed my master bedroom into a room that looked like a teenagers palace. Plastered pictures of him on the wall and the ceiling. I no longer slept in there, too many bad memories, but with his pictures up there I felt like my ex husband had his lover and I had mine. At least that's what I had started to tell people. I was dating a much younger man named Nick. I knew my friends would never know who I was talking about, not realizing that even though they didn't, their kids would.  
  
My friends started to avoid me, telling me that I needed therapy. I think they were just jealous. I mean a world famous pop star didn't call THEM beautiful. He called me beautiful.  
  
I found myself living, breathing and most of all thinking about Nick. What was he up to now? Was he thinking about me like I was about him? I found myself sitting up in my master bedroom and talking to him; we would have very long discussions about everything. He would listen and hug me when I needed him to. Nick understood me, no one else did.  
  
I lost my job when I failed to show up for work on a day that I had stayed home at the last minute because the boys were going to be on a talk show. Even if it was only for a few minutes, I had to watch. They didn't understand. I guess I should have lied.  
  
I found myself traveling more and more into New York City walking around Times Square in hopes that maybe they would be there for something. I would stand for hours outside the hotel that I knew they always stayed in hoping for another glimpse of my love. I wanted him to know that I had gotten over my husband and now had all the time in the world for him. If he would have me.  
  
_  
  
I never wanted it to be this way. I never thought I would ever fall in love with someone as young as my Nicky. The way he treats his fans and his brothers just makes me love him even more. Then I would hear the stories about his temper and the fights he would have with his family. There was no way my Nick could act like that. My Nick was perfect. Just to reassure myself of that fact, I had him send my Mom flowers on her 75th birthday. She called him a nice boy and couldn't wait to meet him.  
  
I couldn't wait to bring him to her, "maybe one day Mom" I told her over coffee. She gushed about how happy she was that I had finally found someone after living with such a piece of garbage all these years. I nodded in agreement, picturing my Nick waiting for me when I got home.  
  
That night I remember watching the video of their concert on the Disney channel over and over again. The ways his eyes gleamed when he spoke of his brothers and how fond he was of his family and how important education was to him. I laughed along side them as we all went bowling together. We had such a great time that day.  
  
I disconnected my phone that night so no one would disturb us. Not that I got any calls anymore, seemed like all my friends had abandoned me. All but him, my best friend, my constant companion.  
  
The last thing I would say before I went to sleep would be "Tell me I'm beautiful" I would close my eyes and once again I'd be back in that moment. Falling asleep to the sound of Nick's voice, sexy and sweet telling me I was beautiful and that he loved me.  
  
___  
  
I waited outside for him in the pouring rain surrounded by girls half my age screaming and crying. That's one thing I never did was cry. I guess because I knew that I had him. He was mine. These poor girls were deluding themselves into thinking that they had a chance. Poor dears.  
  
I never brought anything with me for him to sign, why bother? I didn't want his autograph I wanted him. It worked once already why not again? I found myself getting anxious then, feeling the goosebumps form on my wet skin. Imagining the feel of his lips on mine when we kissed for the first time.  
  
I overheard some of the girls talking about his girlfriend and I instantly got defensive. How can they talk about me this way? They hardly even know me. I find myself walking away from them now and closer to where he will be. The other girls briefly cry out someone's name. I believe it might have been AJ but I don't bother to look. I'm not there for AJ. AJ didn't tell me I was beautiful.  
  
Finally the crowd gets louder and louder which means they are soon to come out. I make my way back over to the place where they will be. Anxiety sets in when I am continually pushed back away from my destination.  
  
That's when they come out of the building. I scream Nick's name but it's so loud around me that he doesn't even look my way. I try again; this time jumping up and down but still no luck. All I can do is watch as he gets in the car and drives away. Leaving me surrounded by a bunch of crying screaming teenage girls.  
  
Alone  
  
I stood there in that same spot long after they had gone, long after the crowd had departed. Hoping that maybe he would remember he had forgotten someone and be back. He would be back for me. I was his girl. His beautiful girl.  
  
He never came back, I know because I stayed long into the night. I fell asleep on the sidewalk outside and was abruptly awoken by a police officer who thought I had nowhere else to go.  
  
I told him I was waiting for my boyfriend, he had forgotten to pick me up but he would be back. The man shook his head and told me I needed to get off the street or he'd have to take me somewhere.  
  
__  
  
When I got back from that trip I felt betrayed, how dare he blow me off like that. To make myself feel better I had Nick send me two dozen roses. He wrote To my beautiful girl on the card, I temporarily forgave him.  
  
Okay so I stood in line forever to see him but he didn't see me. That was fair I managed to convince myself. Maybe next time.  
  
__  
  
Two weeks later was the next time I tried to see him. Once again I took off work. This time the boss told me not to bother coming back. I didn't need the job anyway, Nick made more than enough money to support me. I would tell him my plans for me moving in with him.  
  
I thought about maybe just calling a Realtor and having them put my house up for sale, but I wasn't crazy. I knew I had a certain blonde to convince.  
  
I almost crashed three times on that trip, allowing myself to daydream instead of focus on the road. Imagining how all of my friends would regret blowing me off and beg me to let them into our extravagant wedding. Constantly begging me for money as I laughed and told then they shouldn't have abandoned me when I needed them most.  
  
They always abandon me. Except for my Nick.  
  
This time the crowd is even larger than before. It seemed like most of hem were holding signs proclaiming their love for my boyfriend. I just shake me head as I advance towards the front of the line, I ignore the looks I receive from the kids as I just about barrel over them to get into his sight line. I missed him before but not again.  
  
This time when they come out of the door I will be ready for them. I'm hoping we'll have time to talk, just he and I, but since I realize it's doubtful I had spent the whole previous night writing him a letter. I wanted him to know exactly how much I loved him and that perhaps me moving in with him would be the best way to pursue our relationship.  
  
The crowd grows louder as the doors open. All the boys come put swiftly and wave to the fans as they pass. My nick is the last one to exit the building, I feel the excited tingle all over my body as he smiles at everyone. His eyes landing on me. I smile back and try to duck under the barricade but his bodyguard stops me. I yell out, "Nick! Tell him who I am!" But he doesn't hear me because once again the crowd is much to loud. "Nick!! Tell him it's me, your beautiful girl!!" I scream, right into his bodyguards ear.  
  
"Sure you are lady...sure you are" The guard says to me in a sarcastic voice, "Let me go!" I demand, and he does on cue. "I will make sure he fires you" I yell to him, but he already has moved on.  
  
The crowd shifts as he makes his way down the line of fans. He and the rest of the boys, waving and smiling for pictures. Flashes going off in such a flurry it looks like the Fourth of July.  
  
Then once again he is gone.  
  
This time I didn't wait around for him, I left to go home to my empty house. Why would he do this to me over and over again? Didn't he tell me he loved me? No maybe not but he did tell me I was his beautiful girl.  
  
I sat in the dark in my master bedroom crying as I yelled at his pictures on my wall. I didn't intend for it to be so dark, but because I had lost my job, they had turned my electricity off. The phone would be next but that was okay since I had LONG since disconnected it from my wall.  
  
I thought he understood me, I thought he cared. Maybe I was wrong. Nobody cares why should he? I found myself saying over and over again as I sat in the room clutching the teddy bear I had bought him.  
  
__  
  
So that brings me to today, I stood in line for over two hours just to get a glimpse of him. I am hoping that I will be able to get close enough to him to let him know I don't blame him. I understand why he doesn't like me. No one does.  
  
Fate.  
  
I once again, for the last time make my way toward the front of the line, this time it's not so busy, this time only a few kids are outside waiting for them. This was a surprise appearance, no one knew. They all will soon though.  
  
I look around at the young girls as they anxiously wait to meet their idols. They look at me like I am lost. I don't care anymore.  
  
I close my eyes and once again hope to remember that one moment the two of us had so long ago. Just my Nick and I, but like everything else in my life, the moment has faded, leaving nothing but an empty void in it's wake.  
  
It's time for me to make a new memory I think to myself as once again the small crowd starts to scream. That's when I see them make their way out of the hotel one by one. Once again my Nicky is the last one to exit. I close my eyes as he starts to walk past me, I breath him in, he smells so good, so pure, so angelic. I wait for him to grab my hand but he doesn't. I feel him pass me by. I can tell by the small breeze that passes.  
  
I scream to him, "Nick!!!" Nothing else comes to mind. He never even bothers to turn around. I smile, as I think about our future together, how wonderful and exciting it will be, I think about how we will live the rest of our lives as one, in eternity as I pull out the gun, aim and fire.  
  
__  
  
I sit and stare nowadays. That's about all there is to do in here. The windows are high with gates covering them. I sometimes stand on my tippy toes to try to look up into the sky. I miss the feel of the wind on my face.  
  
I miss a lot of things.  
  
Nick still talks to me late at night, I can't talk back to him of course, I don't think my room mate would appreciate it, but we still laugh and talk till all hours of the night. He has told me over and over again that he forgives me for killing those kids. I didn't mean to do it mind you, I only wanted the two of us to live together happily up in heaven. They just got in the way.  
  
He tells me he wishes he was allowed to send me roses here in this place but they would never allow it. I tell him that's okay because it would just make all of the other patients jealous.  
  
They wouldn't allow me to bring any of my posters to this place, I begged and pleaded since supposedly I would be here for the rest of my life, but still they said no. I asked them if they would let me Nick at least come and visit me but they only looked at one another and shook their heads.  
  
One day my prince will come! I keep singing to myself. I like to sing these days, it makes me feel even more connected to him. I know we will see each other again someday. Until that time I can at least delight in the fact that I know I am a beautiful girl. Nick Carter told me so.  
  
  
The End  
  
  
  



End file.
